A short exerpt from my life

I got two out of three pairs of shoes in yesterday, I love them both. The one pair of strap sandals I can’t really wear to work but they are pretty. The other ones and super nice. I have a taupe colored pair coming in this afternoon hopefully so I am interested in what they are going to look like. No more plain shoes for me. I have to make sure I don’t get too obsessed. I was talking to mom about shopping being a potential addiction. You get your temporary fix after buying a cute pair of shoes and a nice top. You feel better about yourself because your wardrobe is what completes you as a person. It is scary, because it only lasts for a little bit and then you feel the effects of guilt and dissatisfaction. That is why my closet is so full of things I don’t even really like. I convince myself that I need them at the time of purchase and that this is what I need to make my wardrobe complete. I can identify the problem. I convince myself that I don’t have enough clothes for work and that I have to keep up with the current trends. What qualifies as just enough and what then qualifies as excessive? I guess the fact that I have 20 pairs of pants is a little bit excessive, and the fact that I have probably about the same amount to t-shits, not to mention sweatshirts, jeans, sweaters and jackets. I also have about 12 or so dresses that I have worn once or not at all. I have only worn a handful of them more than once. There is always something missing from my closet. Now that I think back it seems as if ever since I started buying my own clothes that there has never been enough variety or enough of the stylish stuff that looks good on me. Instead of being thankful for what I do have and making use of what I do have I feel upset and not good enough to face the day. I should be finding satisfaction in the things that really matter in the end like family, friends and relationships rather than in what I look like and how much of a cool factor or a beautiful factor I have for that set period of time. Beauty fades, and clothing is temporary. I can’t take it with me and ultimately my treasure is where my heart lies. I don’t want my heart to be stuck here on earth.