Just a Thing

So I am totally winging this blog,
Haven't written for several months.
God is Good -
I have come to a realization - actually more than one - but it is this:
Trusting God is the only way to live my life - it is hard and confusing sometimes but I have found no other solution. There is this excitment in my life that won't go away (I don't want it too) Everyone always talks about it wearing off and then you get into a doldrum - a dessert place. But Frankly I don't see this happening. I feel as if I have unlocked this secret door. Everything I do - I just want to be the best and do it for God. I mean of course if you know me you know I fail - but I don't become discouraged anymore! I have found my hope and salvation and I wish thewhole wide world would see. My purpose in life is to serve. To let everyone know - to spread the love that I have. I have never found joy such as this before. I am satisfied with what I have and seek to give it all away. People have become more important than things. Giving love is more important than recieving it. There are so many things I know that I need to work on, but discouragement has been permanently banished! God lifts me up when I need it - be it through self-realization, scripture or other people in my life. I want to love like God loves me. I want to serve others as Jesus has served me. I want to humble myself, be the last in all things.

For some reason I just get it.

I know how I want to live my life and nothing can stop me. I read 'screwtape letters' by C.S. Lewis and there was a paragraph - hopefully I can convey it properly, but as the devils try and persuade us to their side they get close to us and put thoughts in our minds and put things and people across our paths. The same way God works - it is this battle. Anyways, in this exerpt it describes the patient being surrounded by a cloud of asphixyating smoke - the cause? they are so close to God. God is with them and heare aware of it. So these demons cannot 'access' this patient because of the state they are in. I feel as if this is the state I am in. It goes onto decribe that some 'patients' are permanently like this and they are 'lost' to the other side (Gods side). I thought that was just the mosti ntruiging way of looking at it. I want to be permanently in that state, where I know that noting evil will sway me.

"Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
Wasnt it far beyond my reach?
Give me your heart for the once forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see
again"

This is the chorus to a song that I have on permanent loop right now. Its just like the words Jumped out at me. Pretty self-explanatory - but this is how i want to live =)

Humbling Myself

" This very day, we have failed to practise ourselves the kind of behaviour we expect from other people." - C.S. Lewis

Its kind of like do unto others.... but not really. Sort of inverted, or backwards? I am not to sure what I am trying to say. Or maybe it is an addition to the verse itself. Because Really, how ca nwe expect people to do things when we ourselves are not willing to to them. Its like telling a child to eat their vegitables and yet refusing to eat your own. People work better by example. Its like the secular song by John Mayer " Waiting for the world to change"

We keep on waiting, waiting. Instead of getting off our duffs and doing it ourselves. Why is that? We often forget the power of one person - and especially the power of one person with Jesus by his side. If everyone thought that way all the time where would we be today? Now its not necessarily the concept of hypocrisy - saying you shouldn't litter and then going and doing it yourself. Rather it's the idea of seeing a littered sidewalk, walking by and commenting on how awful it looks instead of picking up some of the stuff that is in your path or rallying people to clean up that neighborhood. But it goes deeper than littering and small things like this. When we examine ourselves and our attitudes towards things we see that this is true of most everyone.

I think I am making this more complicated and complex than it really is. but for some reason I feel the need to expand on the above quote. Perhaps it is because deeper down I know that it is an attitude adjustment that I myself need to make. Is it not true that when there is a disagreement that I always want the other person to be the bigger person? I want an apology or a 'yes you were right'? Is it not true that many relationships are ruined because of this. Of course there may be legitimate reasons but does not God himself call us to be humble? That we are to love unconditionally and forgive our trangressors seventy times seven times? What does it mean to love unconditionally.... and who deserves my unconditional love?

Unconditional:

1. not contingent; not determined or influenced by someone or something else
2. not limited by conditions; absolute: an unconditional promise.

I think as Christians we are required to live by this standard. That when we become a christian our emotions and attitudes should not be influeneced by anything or anyone but the one Above. It is absolute.

Before we can expect others to live by the standards we have set we must do two things - we must first ask "where do my standards come from?" when they are coming from God, not taken bit by bit but the whole lot of them, then we can be sure that they are right. They are absolute and do not sway from person to person - there are no exceptions for billy and sue because of their situations. God calls us to standards individually and I think that once we realise that and the idea that what billy and sue do today are not the ultimate cause of my attitude, (does this make sense?) we will start doing what is right (without being swayed or influenced by anything else) What they do might hurt me or it might be their fault, who knows... but we cannot be prideful. Even if they are in the wrong God calls us to live by the same standards he calls Billy and Sue to. So we are not supposed to wait on them to do the right thing. It would be nice - but that is not what is required of us. The second thing is that we must live by these standards ourselves, which I already have mentioned. Our priorities cannot be watching how other people live and do things, we should be focused on doing the right thing ouselves.

Right?

" The Further I'm From you The harder I try to Exist "
A line from a song I was just listening to.... what does it mean? well silly question - I know what it means I don't know why I am asking. Where am i going with this. OK. It just struck me as the course repeated itself. I thought to myself, that there is nothing closer to the truth. When I am close to God - and getting to know him and I am focused on what he wants for me - I don't worry about where I am supposed to be or where I am supposed to go. I don't fret about why I am alive or why bad things happen and I am completely satisfied. But, when I am far away from God, or say farther than I am used to, I feel lost and like I need to find reasons to be where I am, to exist. I try harder to exist. There is a sense of peace that comes with knowing God, and truly follwing him. The peace though, only comes when we are actually following him and close to what He wants for us. Knowing does nothing. I need to strive to be closer. There is no greater purpose than to exist for God.

Just be....

Living Today

The question of the day - how do we go about our day and do it for the Lord? It is so easy to get side tracked and live for ourselves - even in the little things. We can say our general purpose is Gods agenda... but what does living for God actually look like. It seems to me that everyone kinda just lives their life looking at the other christians that seem to have their life together, wondering how they are so close to God and what their secret is. Jesus is in my life - so what next? It is so easy to get into the habit of saying that when everything is good -- when I have what I need, when the kids are older, when I have more time I want to go out and do what I am supposed to do. What is stopping the general population of Christians from just stepping out daily? I do not know. I know in my own life - I am tempted with worries of what my future is going to look like. How am I going to get there, what do I have to do to make it happen. I get caught up in things that happen. I forget that God is in control and that it is all good. I think that htings will be easier once I am married, done school and have my kids. Once I am settled and have my life 'in line'. But I have since learned that since when is anybodies life going to be in line. It is something that we long for but we will never attain until we learn to be satisfied with today. I want to live for Jesus today and right now. So often I take for granted this day that I am living in. I forget that God can take my life just as quick as he gave it to me. Tomorrow is only wishful thinking.

Today

There is never a moment in my life that nothing is going on.... I can't recall the last time things were normal. Normal meaning I could just be. I know that God calls us to a higher standard and wants us to be everything we can be for him all the time, but sometimes - its hard. It's really cool because I get to experience life and be with people and watch them grow but at the same time it feels like I exist for other people. I love helping people - and I guess now that I think about it - I don't need help at this moment, so I am able. I wish that my heart would always be willing to say - "here I am, send me". God has enabled me to experience things so that I can help others through the same things. I don't mind. Its exhilerating actually. I love how he works through everything and everyone. I feel as though God has made me smart. Like maybe that sounds stupid. I'm not a genius by any means, but I feel wise. I have never acted my age (sometimes I wish I could) But I always seem to have the right answer for people. Why? I do not know. I have not done anything special to deserve this. In fact I usually feel unworthy to be doing work for God - because of the things I have done. I feel like I am missing heart. There are so many factors - I get proud of myself - I think about myself and what I have done - and how everyone likes me.. which is another mystery. haha All of a sudden - people want to be with me. I used to have no friends - and now I am someone that is different from everyone else and they love it? I wish I knew the answer as to what makes me so apparantly different. I have found Jesus. maybe that is it? I finally understand what it means to be a christ follower. I have known for the longest time - and I struggle with it daily, but the struggles are completely worth it. I feel unworthy because I don't take up my cross daily - I am not sure exactly what that means. What is my task in life? I do not know yet. I think right now it is to just be... be in God's presence, be a light?, be a friend, and be real. Right now I feel as if I have lost my very best friend ( I think my thoughts are all over the place right now - even on this page) He can't be my friend - because I don't want more than just to be friends. We shared pretty much everything and now that I am interested in someone else he realises that we are not going to be together. I guess I didn't see it all along - but now he is gone. The cool thing is that Jesus is always there - no matter what happens. I am still not sure how I feel about the whole situation. I think it still has not even clicked in... Even though that is allthat has been going through mymind for the past 5 hours.... I have just lost my best friend.. I have just lost my best friend. I feel like I have broken so many hearts in the past 2 months it is not even funny. Why? I still don't know. I just dont know. It was like I never could get the one I wanted- and now I can get what ever I want. What happened? I have to watch almost every interaction with the male species (haha) because they seem to take it the wrong way - every single time. And no one seems to understand where I am coming from. I don't know. But this last one is almost the worst. Ah - why does everything have to be so complicated.

Guarding My Heart

How does one guard their heart? and against what exactly? The book I am reading about dating is all about the purity and says that God places "keeping our hearts clean" at a top priority. The answers seem so obvious but they are not that easy to do sometimes. I personally have to guard against self-pity, critisism, gossiping, stubborness, and being luke warm. Its not just the big things that get us in trouble. Its the little things that eventually lead to the big things. And I realise that I need to take care of everything that I put into my heart and mind.

"Create in Me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me" Psalm 51:10

I don't need that brand new car to get me where I'm going - I need Jesus
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I don't need that comfort ice cream or that Starbucks Latte - I need Jesus
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I don't need that shopping day to fill my closet (and empty my wallet) - I need Jesus, to fill up the corners of my inner most being.
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I want to get rid of those ill - fitting clothes and those boxes of old memorabilia, clean the clutter out of my garage... when what I really need to do is clean myself from the outside - in. To get rid of all the garbage, clutter and death that takes up space in my heart and mind.
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Jesus is here and now - not after I've satisfied myself... He is the one who gets me where I'm going, The one who hits the spot. He is just what I needed.
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Suddenly its a little bit easier to get where I am going.

The Journey Ahead

It's been awhile since anything has been published here... mainly because I have been away in a land far away... I have learned so much in the past month, done so much, and just seen so much that I'm ready to move on. I was expecting my trip to be full of close times with God, and growing with my sister spiritually, but I made it quite the opposite. I am back to reality and do not know where I am headed... in the long run that is. Filled with the general questions of life: What am I supposed to be doing, What does God want me to do with my life? and some maybe not so general but completely valid questions. I feel like I am completely unsatisfied with thing. Unsatisfied with Who i am - wanting to be like other people, with what I have - such as a car and house whatever, with my relationships - those special people that are always there to support you and give you that little nudge everyone in a while that you can share anything and everything with, and the boys - wishing that they would like me (at least the ones that I like would even notice me). And even though they are trivial... they sometimes start to consume me and get the best of me. Its so hard to not worry. But even the pastor said - that if you want a hectic and worry filled life - than worry about tomorrow.

What do we live for?

I'm sure we have all come to this point in our lives where we ask ourselves this question... So where do we find the answer. Everyone seems to have their own version or own solution - even if they don't, when you ask them the question and 'force' them to think about it for a minute they come up with an answer... or sorts. But really what do we live for if not for God? I try and think about this with a non bias opinion, which is very difficult being brought up this way my whole life. Every Religion of course says that they have the answer - or the secret solution to how to live great or be happy - whatever. If not why would anyone stick with a religion? I am reading 'god is not great' - and I just can't seem to put my mind around it. Am I naive? or is it the author? I have grown up with Christianity and don't know any different. What kind of conclusions would I come to if I had not been taught anything at all? How would my life be? If there was no such thing as morals, or right and wrong, acceptable and not - where would I be? Surely only God knows the answer to that question. this is all I know, and being Jewish is all a jew really knows, and being muslim is all a muslim knows.... What kind of a conclusion would a person taught none of these opinions come too???? I don't know. I wish I knew these things. But then actually if you think about it, If i knew the answers to these questions then I would know too much. It would take away from the mystery and the beauty of life. But now I am going on a long tangent.... Sometimes- we have to search these things out four ourselves. I fell like I know so much, and yet.... so little at the same time. I know about what is right and wrong (in the eyes of a christian) and I know everything they taught me in highschool. I know what I want to be after school. I know what people are feeling when they dont sometimes. It is not wrong to question things. If we did not question things imagine how naive and blind we would be to everything around us. I can only imagine how much I don't know. Inside of me wants to burst because there is scarcely enough time to even begin to surface all the knowledge in this world. Im not quite sure where I am going with this.. but I will go. I feel like every christian needs to have a sit down in their own walk with God and ask why they believe...... like yeah, you can believe because of your parents - and we all know where that gets you.... absolutely nowhere. Because it is the cool thing to do? ya like thats really the case... well actually I think its pretty cool, but in the general public its not really. I wish I could tap into the brains of people and understand things better. Why is it goood to question what you believe... because if you don't... if oyu are afraid to dig in and get dirty then there is no solidness to it. Maybe its a cry from my own heart saying that I need too search it out. Because I have faith, but faith in what - my emotions? do I go to church just because.... emotions doesnt just inolve how it makes me feel better after the service, but how it feels when my parents look down on me for seeing things different, how my friends think, how I feel when I do things wrong and keep doing them wrong. What is in the sub conscience effects us very much. What am I scared of? What am I avoiding... what am I trying to prove and to whom??? Why am I here right now as opposed to somewhere else? Why am I so concerned with what my fellow graduates are up to? Why do I feel the need to prove anything to them? they don't care about me and what I am up to. and I shouldn't revolve my life around them. God's opinion is the only one that counts. Why do I go through drought seasons where I feel so alone?? and so in doubt about who I am and who God is. I am tired of trying to prove my self to anyone. God you have put me in this place for a reason... what it is -- I do not know right now. you are so real -- so very real that sometimes I fell like I can touch you.. I can feel you and your love surrounds me, and yet other times..... I can say to myself you are real you are the only thing that matters, but deep down you know that I struggle with making sure other people are happy tooo... I have such a hard time. I am tired of trying to prove things to people, to prove it to myself. I fell like everything is a constant struggle a constant pull that never tires. when lord is it going to end? when can I find peace. What do I have to do? I guess my question is what do I live for? Would I go to the ends of the earth for you? or will I cower in a corner when everyone else is against you? What am I defining my life by. This is the main question that I have to ask myself. I dont know where I am going with this. It feelsl ike a small thing maybe that I am just making a big deal out of. I know the world doesnt revolve around me, but its so hard. I wish that sometimes that I could make sense of everything. I know that life is always full of surprises and that Ihave to trust God in everything I do, but it is so hard. Everything is so unsure right now and I feel so mediocre. I can't be luke warm. We are now allowed or supposed to be mediocre - what am i doing"? what am I doing with my life.....

God be my solution

So I haven't posted anything for awhile. I havent actually written anything for a while. I don't know why. I hate it when life gets busy you tend to neglect the things you love to do the most. Its so silly sometimes. I don't really want to have posts as 'diary entries' but I guess sometimes you can't help it. I mean alot has been going on - and it sort of tends to consume your life. Or atleast they consume my thoughts. Its funny because with everything going on, I tend to forget the most important thing - that God is in control of everything. But it seems like I have been having issues with that aswell. I tell you if its not one thing its another. I dont wnat to be more specific - I am seriously fighting every urge to be more specific but I might just have to because Im sure no one really reads this and cares =). I am sick right now so my emotions might be alittle out of wack. I don't know what I am trying to say. There is so much on my mind and I don't know how to put it down but I wish I could so I could pin point the solution or at least the problem. 1. Boyfriend 2. Smoking 3. Family 4. School 5. Money 6. Busyness of life
Lately I have had an attitude problem because I feel so depressed about somethings and that things are just impossibly chaotic. Oh well. Who am I kidding? a.kjdswhfbalkjreghaLHJ

The Stupid Notion of "Intelligent" Design

It is the same old mumbo jumbo.... Quote on Quote from 'god is not great'

Reading this book makes me want to write some sort of letter to the author. I have mixed emotions towards this book and him. Sometimes I have to laugh because of his complete generalizations, and total lack of research. But then I must say to myself - well have I checked it out? Do I know that what he is saying is wrong? I know because I have been told. But If I were asked to point it out in scripture - would I be able to answer with confidence? Or asked to even point it out in history - would I be able? Somethings maye I think so. Sometimes I feel like writing a book - exact opposite of what he say. Not in a reactionary way but just I don't know.

My White Flag

Tonight - we sang a song saying "I surrender all". How many times do we catch ourselves just singing and not taking in the words? I don't want it to be another song. I was praying - let it not be just another prayer God

I surrender all

• my life


• my steps


• my future


• my family


• my pride


• my work


• my music


• my writing


• my actions, choices


• my thoughts, decisions


• my desires


• my way of doing things


• my trust


• my relationships


• my wants and needs


• my faults

It's so easy to say I surrender all, but what does that mean actually. Its a loaded phrase that shouldn't be thrown around. I need help from the almighty to make that decision daily. Every last single thing -- even my life....

A Familiar Stranger

This is something I don't want to forget - yet I'm sure that anyone reading this will not have the same appreciation as I did.
I was in the elevator with my co-worker Irene and an elderly man. Let me get you into the mood here. Usually downtown elevators become sullen and awkwardly silent when two perfectly strange parties enter the same cramped quarters. Today though, This man was smiling away to himself. Irene broke the silence asking " did you win the lottery? your so happy today!"
"what that?" He replies with a bright smile -- pauses for not even a quarter of a second "the rain is stopped, how's that? - gotta savour the little things you know"
He was the cheeriest and lively old man I've seen. And it was so cute!
Maybe that is my inner girl coming out - but it rang so true. It seriously made my day. I will never see him again, and he will never see me again. He will probably not even remember my face - so oblivious to the fact that He made my day. Two perfect strangers, collide for not even a minute. How many times do we tend to forget that the little things are good too.
I get so busy with life sometimes that - what is it? - I forget to stop and smell the roses.
Stop - must have time to enjoy that little bird, or that special flower in the garden.. or that person who did something nice today - or do something small but spontaneous for another.
. How often is it that we can stop and just be happy for the sake of being happy. ?

Do you know any people like that - or have they crossed your path?

I want to be that person - I'll never know if they care or not.

But I want to be that familiar stranger that you possibly pass by

and remember that funny thought, that good thought.

Or that little gesture

Love Life.

Live It.

Heart Full of Sky

Quite Possibly - I feel like I am sort of getting older. wow that was an interesting sentence. We all are getting older moment by moment... and what are we doing with ourselves?
. I was remembering back to a time when I made a website about parrots in grade seven. I then ventured to ponder the thought that high school years were definitely short lived. Thankfully but still short. It makes me sad, here I am yes I know I'm not yet 20 but I have been out of school for two years now and the past two years have flown by. Probably the most eventful years of my life. And without a doubt the two hardest years of my life so far. I want to rant and rave about them, explain them, share them, make sense of them. But that will take to long. I guess really I feel the need to explain them to myself. I am not mad about them, nor do I totally regret them. I mean I can't do anything about the past because it is already done.
It is actually quite freeing to think about the fact that there is nothing you can do about the past - like ya maybe it sucked, maybe it was difficult but what good does that do for today - and even tomorrow. Are we going to let yesterdays mistake become tomorrow's disaster?
. Don't get me wrong - I'm not saying to learn from past experiences... because they are indubitably valuable to making wise decisions here and now - but to dwell on things that can't be changed gets us absolutely no where - at least I speak for myself. I mean look at the bright side - there are endless possibilities... we just have to switch our train of thought onto the right track.
I feel like I don't even know where to start. My life definately feels like it can't possibly get more confusing. I'm sure there is worse situations than mine - and I don't want to sound self centered. But I think its just me that makes things confusing. I try and convince myself of things - when they don't really need convincing at all. It's beenhard - to say the least - to think for myself. Well, think for God more like. or no that doesnt sound right... Think about things in the same light that God would. although it is impossible to even fathom the knowledge of God.

someone just asked me if you could be remember after you died what do you want people to remember you by? - I would be remembered hopefully by my personality, and how much I tried to be like Christ... I'm not very good at it - and I actually hate this question because I start thinking and then I feel inadequate. I feel like I want to be something Im not. I want people to remember me for my kindness - but am I really kind? I want people to remember me for being Godly - but am I really Godly? I want to be friendly and outgoing - and never a downer for any one - and I want to beknown for my encouragement - but am I really an encouraging person?


and this if you could accomplish one thing before you die, what would it be and why? To strive to be all of the above...

You'd Never Know It By Looking

At first glance, people seem like very simplistic creatures. You sit at the bus stop watching people go by... walk around the mall and everyone is doing their own thing. It's so simple. I always wonder what is underneath all the layers. What is their story? Where did they come from? What is important to them? why are tehy who they are today? Where are they going?

Its just like me.... I can walk around pretending like everything is ok... no one would have a clue. And sometimes I like that. No one needs to know about my life. But right now I feel like everyone who walks by and wonders, would actually care. I want someone to actually know everything.. everything about me. To listen and comunicate. I want to open up but I feel like I've been locked up and bound. Or that I haven't been unlocked - I know its me that has to unlock and unleash --- but no one want's to listen. Or do they?

Original Thought Process

So I don't know if I actually ever had an original thought in my life. A lot of our wisdom comes from things previously known to man - just forgotten, and then discovered again.We must think highly of ourselves sometimes............

Life is what you make it...

So, I was thinking.... I know a lot of complainers, worriers and criticizers. It actually relates back to the "sovereignty" sermon. But anyways. I include myself in this category - not proudly but honestly.

I notice also - that when I look deep down into myself - and why I actually am complaining

I see that it stems down from inside me

Not all from the other party involved.

Why do we hurt people we know - to make ourselves feel better? wow that's really mature.

It's an inner cry - saying that we're not happy with what God has given or taken from us.

We are essentially saying that God hasn't put us in the right place.... He wasn't thinking, or that he made a mistake putting us here.

We are saying that He didn't make that other person right...

He didn't?

Since when did we ever stop trusting God

and the fact that he is in control...

It will be OK in the end.

We shouldn't be worrying about what other people are doing... why?

what is the point?

We are all accountable to God - individually

I won't be able to say -- well God, you see - billy wasn't doing his fair share

so I can't help it that it didn't get done.

I will not be able to say - my parents didn't set a good example for me growing up... so its not my fault.

How stupid does that sound?

When am I going to stop sitting here, and worrying about other people?

God made billy the way he is

and God made me the way I am

I should love him for who he is, and be thankful that we are not all the same

What kind of disaster would that be?

So say for instance, you all of a sudden are in an accident and you can't write with your right hand anymore (left in my case)

Are you going to sit there and complain about it?

or are you going to learn to write with your other hand?

When I criticize others - is it because I want to hurt them?

Is it because I want to feel superior?

Or divert the attention from my own flaws to someone Else's?

When I complain about something -

why am I complaining?

basically, I am implying that God's plan is no good.

- he made me badly.

God made a mistake...

Or did he.

So, pretty much, I have two choices when it comes to some situation that I am unhappy with.

I can complain - which gets me absolutely nowhere

or I can choose to embrace it for what it actually is.

Its life.

It happens

- quite regularly actually.

So lets start doing what were supposed to and enjoying every moment of it

.

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we don't give God enough credit

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Matthew 6:25-34
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

100 Facts about me

Haha - MMKay, so I saw this in someone elses blog he sure had alot of interesting things to say -- kind of... so I kept his origianal draft and now Im going to try it.. no I'm not a stalker. This guy took like 3 years to finish this post.... what a dork. Lets see how long this takes - and don't bother reading it haha unless you absolutely want to. I'm not sure what to qualify as facts but anyways, here it goes...
1.Name: Erin Nicole W
2.Sex: Female

3.Birthday: December 6th '87
4.Nationality: Dutch-Canadian
5.Languages I can Speak: English -- and a little french
6.Religion: Jesus Follower - as you have probably noticed?
7.Sexual Orientation: Straight
8.Relationship Status: don't know right now
9.Children: No
10.Drinking: none
11.Currently Doing: Administration Wrok at Great west Life -- its a party

12. I want to be a teacher one day.

13. I want to be a missionary in a foreign country

14. I like the colour orange and yellow too.
15. Reading books is really 'fun' - enjoy the religious and theological section the best.
16. Tea drinker all the way - never really enjoyed coffee.

17. Learning to garden - kind of haha, I have my first real garden this year.

18. If I never could become a teacher/missionary I would open a coffee shop with a live stage.

19. Listen to Jazz and enjoy the old classics, but hit me up with almost any style of music and I love it... preferably Christian music though.
20. Secretly want to become a song writer, well I guess its no secret.

21. I play piano and Saxaphone (thats probably more of a secret) and learning the guitar... I dig anybody that plays the guitar

22. I can beat you at Crash Bandicoot Racing anyday of the week (PS1)

23. I love photography - especially the really capturing pictures .. its this thing I love. I want to do it one day.

24. Yes I like to eat at McDonald's only sometimes - right now actually its churning my stomach, but I'm not ashamed to say I eat at McD's

25. I love Google - anything interesting I want to know or see I Google it! haha

26. I have three siblings - one sister and two brothers and I am the oldest.

27. There's this fascination with birds - I think they are so cool

28. I used to hate cats -- but kittens are so cute that I want one now.
29. I want to travel the world - so many places so little time.

30. Talking to people is so fun. I love meeting new people and getting to know them.

31. I like baking - give me a recipe that's good and I will try and make it - though not necessarily eat it.

32. I am a VERY picky eater

33. Roller coasters are thrilling - although I think I am getting old =(

34. I have blonde hair, blue eyes and I am 5'11

35. I like rain, thunderstorms, and lightning

36. I am a nerd and I love blogging - clearly. haha I just started - I'm no pro.

37. I have six piercings and want to get my eyebrow done. (My mom will kill me)

38. Church is like the coolest thing on my calendar! haha whatever I love it.

39. I weigh 110 lbs no i think its 120 now but I am technically underweight - which is what I'm told ALL the time
40. Not very good at sports - but I enjoy Frisbee, tennis, Squash and.... um rollerblading

41. My favourite book besides the B.I.B.L.E (yes that's the book for meeee) **bursts into song** is probably "Velvet Elvis - Rob Bell" right now anyways

42. I want to help at least one person and make a difference in their lives
43. My friend Janet made a vow for no boyfriends until September 2008 - I think i will do the same

44. I wanted a pet sheep when I was little - but that's because we were going to move onto an acreage. One day..... you'll see

45. I like sour candies and slurpees... ha ha Warheads and Sour Apple to be exact
46. My biggest fear is.... ummm probably falling down the stairs - I don't know, I always envision what could happen

47. Chocolate Ice cream better than Vanilla
48. One day I am going to go to a nudist beach... for kicks

49. I drink 4% milk -- nothing less

50. The first CD i ever owned was Steven Curtis Chapman - Greatest Hits and I didn't even have a CD player.... It was a Christmas gift.
51. I grew up in Calgary, AB
52. I think prank calls are hilarious - I don't care how old I am
53. I love to write in my notebook - it almost never leaves my side.
54. My hair is short - and I intend to keep it that way - and I want to dye it brown...
55. I tend to be a quiet person - until I get to know you, then I don't care - but I am not very open about personal stuff. Hardly anybody knows me that well.
56. I will never eat sushi and I don't like seafood
57. I have size 10 shoes

58. I like fast cars - I want a skyline one day
59. Next summer I hope to get my bike licence - we will see how that goes - I love going really really fast on a crotch rocket

60. How could I forget!!!!! I love to snowboard and snowmobile and build snow forts

61. I have been asked to model 7 times professionally - and never once have...

62. This thing is hard because I don't like talking about myself -- but its fun because it makes you think about a part of who you are. even 100 facts is only the nutshell of anyone person.

63. My favourite flowers are Gerbers, Daisies and Bleeding Hearts

64. I like Zellers better than Walmart

65. People think that i will break if they hurt me or if i lift stuff that is heavy - but I won't - i like to think I'm pretty strong ha ha but they are probably close to the truth

66. Ikea is a cool store and I would use them to decorate my home =)

67. MY favourite movie is Gladiator - Blood Diamond comes in second place

68. Indiana jones is a classic

69. I was cut from the basketball team in grade nine - so I became a band geek. Jazz band, Concert Band, Regular Band Class and choir.

70. I want to have five kids when I get married - ha ha

71. Rainbows are a work of art -- I love them

72. If I see a notebook that looks cool I will buy it - I have like 5 that I still need to fill.

73. Pens are also one of my fettishes - I have to have the right Pen... and I have a million - I don't like the Idea of needing a writing utensil and not having one!

74. I don't believe in Love at first sight - i think its silly - and it probably sounds cliche but I'm not your typical gal.... I wouldn't try and figure me out haha

75. I like T-shirts and Jeans and sometimes my cowboy hat - and definately my skater shoes

76. I love to laugh my head off until I can't breathe - and I've only met two people that are able to do that - and I love them to death!

77. I usually resort to sarcasm or deathly silence when I am mad

78. My Favourite hang out spots are the devonian gardens and Steeps Teahouse

79. I don't like the calgary Stampede - even though I've grown up with it --- maybe that's why.

80. ummm ok now Im running out of random things - My favourite smell is fresh baked bread --- absolutely nothing can beat that smell

81. I have never worn nail polish on my fingers - i think it feels absolutely gross

82. I have only been to two concerts in my life -- TFK and Relient K they were fun

83. If I could meet anyone in the world that is living right now - it would be Donald Trump or Bill gates or Angelina Jolie - only because I want to know what they are like as normal people - not glamourized by the media.... but any one in the world living or dead would be of course Jesus - but I will meet him, Mother Theresa and Ghandi

84. If I could have any one super power in the world it would be to read peoples minds....

85. I like to procrastinate - and I work better when I have lot's on the go....

86. I have never been drunk or tipsy in my life -- well maybe a little tipsy -- but never drunk

87. I have smoked weed on a couple of occasions - so there

88. I dont know how this guy ever took three years to do this survey -- he said that he was online for 16 hours a day - ridiculous (sorry if he ever finds this) but im almost done -- yeah its hard but not three years worth --

- How could I forget!!!! MY favourite food is Broccoli Soup! I want some right now.. lol

89. Everyone says cheez-whiz is gross but I like it on my toast

90. I love to climb trees - I havent done that for a long time, maybe I will go do that soon

91. My Favourite Disney Movie is Pocahontas - I don't know why

92.I like Coke - I will not drink Pepsi

93. and my favourite drink is Lemonade - Im a sour person haha

94. I have never been to Disneyland nor do I have any desire to go there

95. I like to add random quotes from movies and songs i know into conversations I'm having - and usually if you know me well and the movies and stuff I watch then you are probably the only one to get it haha. Sometimes i Even burst out into song.

96. My favourite Chocolate bar is Mr. Big

97. But I hate peanuts even though I sometimes like peanut butter cookies

98. I my favourite candy is Jelly Tots but they don't make those anymore

99. I hate popping balloons

100. I like to do sudokus haha I can do the hardest level mostly in 15-20 minutes

Multi - Faith Conversation Pt. 1

I can't take credit for this --- but I love reading this conversation The second one is completely different -- or a different occurence - same pastor

It was the first time I’d done this – joined a Rabbi and an Imam in answering and dialoguing around the central areas of our faiths. But let me give you a brief taste with a few summary-type quotes.

Jewish Rabbi: “You ask how a Jew comes to know God? And I say that’s a distinctly Christian question. Many Jews don’t even really believe in God. It’s not so much about knowing God as it is about being Jewish – kibbutzing together, living well, joining in prayers, sending money to Israel. It’s something we do together”

He was a beautiful man. Honest – and without worry about ‘protecting’ his religion. He simply called it as he sees it. Now, I know he doesn’t represent all Jews in the world, but that quote was amazing to me. Absolutely fascinating – because it’s so similar to how many of us might think about our Christian faith. It’s about doing what we do together – going to church, singing songs, working at the Seed.

Muslim Imam: “My life is lived out of gratitude for being created by Allah. Every breath I take, I say “Thank you Allah.” I couldn’t roll over in bed without Allah. And so I try to live life in thankful response to Allah for his creating love and grace.”

I was stunned by how similar our thoughts on life were. For I would say those same things. The picture of a grateful life was stunning. And I made a comment about how similar his picture was to that of a Christian. And then I asked a question:

Christian Pastor (me): “What does that grace look like for you? In the Christian faith, we are called to live out of gratitude – not only for being created by God, and for having the privilege of living in this beautiful and diverse world. We also live thankfully because Jesus has paved the way to God for us by taking our sins with him to the grave and set us free to live a faithful life without worrying about absolute obedience to the law as a litmus test of worthiness. Where does that grace come from in Islam?”

The Jewish Rabbi interrupted, and responded with a stunning comment:

Jewish Rabbi: “That’s where you’re different from us. A Jew lives a good life out of anxiety – a nervousness that pushes us to live rightly. You don’t have that. But I want that. I want to be more anxious. I think it pushes me to be more effective.”

(The Imam never got a chance to answer my question directly – but I know that Allah is known as ‘most merciful.’ And the Imam spoke of repentance and forgiveness – though he also said that Islam has no doctrine of Original Sin – so that humans can actually live a perfect life, like the prophets. So I imagine his answer would have included some of those ideas.)

But here’s what the Rabbi’s response made me wonder: Is living out of Freedom, living out of a radical grace that doesn’t require anything from us to be right with God, does it make us more lazy or more effective in this world?