Beauty defined by our Father

To All the truly beautiful women out there

What is Beauty?

Physical beauty will fade over time, but true beauty (virtue) is timeless.

by Vicki Courtney

Mothers, did you know that only 2 percent of women would describe themselves as beautiful?¹ Are you in that small sampling? Is your daughter in that small sampling? After discussing in depth the lies both we and our daughters have been told regarding the narrow definition of beauty, we are left with the task of redefining beauty. Only then can we pass along a healthy definition to our daughters.

What exactly is beauty? The Dove Campaign asked women and found that:

• Seventy-seven percent strongly agree that beauty can be achieved through attitude, spirit, and other attributes that have nothing to do with physical appearance.
• Eighty-nine percent strongly agree that a woman can be beautiful at any age.
• Eighty-five percent state that every woman has something about her that is beautiful.²

Interestingly, the study found that two-thirds of women strongly agree that physical attractiveness is about how one looks, whereas beauty includes much more of who a person is. Women rate happiness, confidence, dignity, and humor as powerful
components of beauty, along with the more traditional attributes of physical appearance, body weight and shape, and even a sense of style.³

Now, stop for a minute and think about it. When you hear (or say) the phrase, "She is beautiful," is it made in reference to what is on the outside or the inside? I find it sad that popular culture and the mass media have hijacked the authentic definition of beauty. Beauty is defined by God and God alone. He sets the standard for beauty and gives us clues throughout Scripture as to what defines a beautiful woman. Unfortunately, the secular definition of beauty given by women in the Dove survey failed to recognize the key component that determines a woman's happiness, confidence, dignity, and humor. That key component, of course, is faith. Just as the Proverbs 31 passage concludes, "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised" (Prov. 31:30). Faith in a loving and forgiving God will be the root of any and all manifestations of beauty. Physical beauty will fade over time, but true beauty (virtue) is timeless.

Damage Control

As parents, that's where we come in. Only by pointing out the lies of culture and continually reminding our daughters of God's definition of beauty (virtue) will we stand a chance of protecting our daughters from the culture's inevitable brainwashing. We must be faithful in reminding them that beauty is not defined by a number on the scale, a premanufactured clothing size, an hourglass shape, washboard abs, slender thighs, big boobs, a J-Lo butt, pouty Angelina Jolie lips, a pair of designer low-rise jeans, a cleavage-baring top, a new sassy haircut, a clear complexion, an antiwrinkle cream, or a surgical procedure. While some of the above may garner catcalls from men, they don't impress God in the least.

If we are to engage successfully in the worthy conversation, "You are more than the sum of your parts" with our daughters, we must first do a self-check and make sure we believe it ourselves. For those of us who have been thoroughly brainwashed by the culture over the years, this will be a difficult challenge. And, I dare say, that would likely be the majority of women reading this book! In fact, while in the course of writing this book, I conducted an informal survey of adult women and asked, "Are you satisfied with your body/appearance?" Only a handful of the women answered yes to that question.

While I realize that many women struggle to achieve a healthy weight range and, therefore, may not be satisfied, I was even more concerned with the answers that followed on the next question. "If your weight fluctuates beyond your desired weight range, does it affect your overall happiness?" Even among the women who had previously answered that they were currently satisfied with their body/appearance, most admitted that should their weight fluctuate, like the others who answered the survey, it would impact their overall contentment/happiness. While I hope that this book will help you better engage in the necessary and ongoing conversation with your daughters regarding body image and appearance, I pray that the truths presented will aid you in breaking free from the culture's lies.

In a world that beckons our daughters to grow up far too fast, it's never too soon to begin the conversation with our daughters regarding true beauty in the eyes of God. In the next article I have compiled some key Scripture verses related to appearance and beauty and an example of how you might explain the meaning behind each verse to your daughter. Some are verses I have referenced in preceding chapters, but they bear repeating! Wouldn't it be nice if our girls grew up with the following verses tucked away in their hearts?

Secret Millionaire

I was introduced to a show last night that was about these millionaires who go undercover to find sincere people trying to help their destitute communities. The goal: for the millionaire to donate some of his wealth.

The show almost brought me to tears.. not because of the sappy music and the happy feeling at the end when these people get the big cheque, but during the entire show seeing all the people in need around us. The violence, the poverty, the children, everything.

That's not all.. what got to me the most was the fact that these people that were already active in the community, most of them dedicated their entire life to what they were doing. I started thinking about how much that I have and that I want to do more. I don't want to just do my hour or two a week and give my monthly tithe. I feel as if I, along with many others have become comfortable with this as doing enough. I don't want to diminish the importance of doing this, but its just not enough for me.

We easily say - there is so much more to life than having a house and a family and stuff. We recognize that the apostles gave up their lives to spread the good news, we recognize that Jesus died, many people have died fighting for the faith... that's pretty extreme. Since when did it become not OK to be extreme?

I'm going to try and live more simply, be more generous with what I have, and look for a need and try to fill it. I want to dedicate my whole life to serving our awesome God not just a few hours of the week.

You're Fooling Yourself

This is a blog that I got this morning - I loved it. I hope to keep it stored away in my memory. I hope to constantly apply it - as I know that I'm constantly in need of a lot of grace! I thought I would pass it along


There's loads of knowledge to be found, but wisdom is a rare commodity. Why? Because wisdom is one of sin's first casualties. It's hard to admit, but true none the less: sin reduces all of us to fools. And the fact is that no one is more victimized by your foolishness than you are.You see the empirical evidence of the foolishness of sin on almost every page of Scripture. For example, you see foolishness in full operation in the tragic story of David and Bathsheba. This is why David says, "Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place" (Psalm 51:6 NIV).You read the story of David's sin, and you say to yourself, "What was he thinking? Did he really believe that he'd get away with this? Did he completely forget who he was? Did he think that God was going to stand idly by and let this happen?" But David is not some extreme case of foolishness gone wild; you see evidence of the same foolishness in each of our lives daily. People could say of us again and again, "What was he thinking? What was she thinking?"What does foolishness look like? Here are four of its most significant aspects.1) The Foolishness of Self-centerednessWe were created to live for something, someone bigger than ourselves. We were designed to live with, for, and through the Lord. God is meant to be the motivation and hope of everything we do. His pleasure, his honor, and his will are the things for which we are meant to live. But the foolishness of sin really does cause us to reduce our lives to the size and shape of our lives.Often our living has no greater purpose than self-satisfaction and self-fulfillment. Does this sound harsh? Well, ask yourself, "Why do I ever get impatient with others?" "Why do I ever say things I shouldn't say?" "Why do I get discouraged with my circumstances?" "Why do I give way to anger or give in to self-pity?" The answer is that, like me, you want your own way, and when things don't go your way or people are in your way, you lash out in anger or you turn inward in discouragement.2) The Foolishness of Self-deceptionWe're all very good at making ourselves feel good about what God says is bad. We're all very skilled at recasting what we've done so what was wrong doesn't look so wrong to us. I'll tell myself that I didn't really lash out in anger; no, I was speaking as one of God's prophets. I'll tell myself that that second look wasn't lust; I am simply a man who enjoys beauty. I'll tell myself that I'm not craving power; I'm just exercising God-given leadership gifts.Foolishness is able to do something dangerous. It's able to look at wrong and see right. Had David been able to see himself with accuracy and if he'd been able to see his sin for what it really was, it's hard to imagine that he would have continued to travel down that pathway.3) The Foolishness of Self-sufficiencyWe all like to think of ourselves as more independently capable than we actually are. We weren't created to be independent, autonomous, or self-sufficient. We were made to live in a humble, worshipful, and loving dependency upon God and in a loving and humble interdependency with others.Our lives were designed to be community projects. Yet, the foolishness of sin tells us that we have all that we need within ourselves. So we settle for relationships that never go beneath the casual. We defend ourselves when the people around us point out a weakness or a wrong. We hold our struggles within, not taking advantage of the resources that God has given us.The lie of the garden was that Adam and Eve could be like God, independent and self-sufficient. We still tend to buy into that lie.4) The Foolishness of Self-righteousnessWhy don't we celebrate grace more? Why aren't we more amazed by the wonderful gifts that are ours as the children of God? Why don't we live with a deep sense of need, coupled with a deep sense of gratitude for how each need has been met by God's grace? Well, the answer is clear. You'll never celebrate grace as much as you should when you think you're more righteous than you actually are.Grace is the plea of sinners. Mercy is the hope of the wicked. Acceptance is the prayer of those who know that they could never do anything to earn it. But the foolishness of sin makes me righteous in my own eyes.When I tell my stories, I become more the hero than I ever was. I look wiser in my narratives than I could have been. In my view of my history, my choices were better than what they actually were. Often it isn't my sin that keeps me from coming to God. Sadly, I don't come to him because I don't think I need the grace that can be found only in him.Here is what all of us must face, sin really does reduce us all to fools, but happily the story doesn't end there. The One who is the ultimate source of everything that's good, true, trustworthy, right, and wise is also a God of amazing grace.You don't get freed from your foolishness by education or experience. You don't get wisdom by research and analysis. You get wisdom by means of a relationship with the One who is Wisdom.The radical claim of the Bible is that wisdom isn't first a book, or a system, or a set of commands or principles. No, wisdom is a person, and his name is Jesus Christ. When you and I are graced into acceptance with him, we're drawn into a personal relationship with Wisdom, and Wisdom begins a lifelong process of freeing us from the stronghold that the foolishness of sin has on us. We aren't yet completely free, but there will be a day when our every thought, desire, choice, action, and word will be fundamentally wise!It makes such sense then, that a repentant man (David) would reflect on his need for wisdom. Sin, in reducing us to fools, causes us to do foolish things, even though we think we're wise. And for this we need more than information, education, and experience. We need exactly what we find in Christ—grace.Wisdom is the product of grace; there is simply nowhere else it can be found.

Conforming to the Image of Christ

The obvious fact that we all sin can create an atmosphere of false security among us, leading us to accept with ease the idea that sin is so commonplace that we ought not to be too bothered by it lest we surrender our mental health to a self-deprecating neurosis. Yet in our desire to console ourselves and maintain a good self-image, we may push to the back burner the mandate of God, “Be you holy, even as I am holy.”
Evangelical Christians are most vulnerable to succumbing to this distortion. We stress the fact that our justification is by faith alone and insist that our righteousness is found in Christ alone. Though these assertions are true, it is equally true that the faith by which we are justified is a faith that brings forth fruit in our lives. The slogan of the Reformation was that we are justified by faith alone, but not by a faith that is alone.
The instant true faith is present in the heart of the believer, the process of sanctification begins. Change begins at once. The Christian begins to be conformed to the image of Christ. We are becoming holy. If we are not becoming holy, then Christ is not in us and our profession of faith is empty.

What Is a Holy Life? - by John Sartelle

“But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do” (1 Peter 1:15 ). “Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul” ( 1 Peter 2:11). “Do not love the world or anything in the world” (1 John 2:15). These verses have been used throughout the history of Christendom by sincere religious folk to mislead generations on what it means to live a Christian life. These verses have been used to build monasteries to avoid contact with the world. They have been used to isolate Christian communities. They have been used to keep Christians from using electricity, driving cars, using modern appliances, and wearing modern or fashionable clothing. They have been used to keep Christians from using lipstick, makeup, or wearing jewelry. They have been used to keep Christians from attending the movies, sporting events, and dances.However, God did not intend for these verses to be applied in such ways.

John Fischer wrote Real Christians Don’t Dance in 1988. It is a satirical title and work. The book was written to help Christians escape the trivial pursuits of false holiness. In the opening chapter, he told of his stand for Christ in the fifth grade. Do you know what stand that he took for Christ in that fifth grade year? Each week he carried a note from his parents excusing him from social dancing during the gym and recreation session when it was taught. He said his parents and his church compared his stand to Daniel in Babylon.

Think about it — in the fifth grade the Christian community taught John Fischer that being a Christian meant that you could not learn to dance with the other children. Fischer wrote: “So this is it? This is what is comes down to: real Christians don’t dance? Moses parted the water for this? Rahab tucked away the spies for this? Jael drove a tent peg into the head of Sisera for this? Jesus died and rose again, martyrs were sawn in two, and the church has prevailed for almost two thousand years against the gates of hell so that Christians today can live out this ever important testimony to the waiting and watching world: real Christians don’t dance.”

This view of individual holiness has caused Christians to live hesitant and dull lives. Somehow we have come to think that holiness is limited to an affinity for prayer and Bible study. However, there are things in God’s creation that we should love with a passion: music, the mountains, fishing, concerts, games, physical exercise, food, dancing, plays, literature, marriage, having children, business, teaching, banking, school, traveling, the beach, friends, astronomy, biology — the list is endless.

So what then is true holiness? Jesus said it best. “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, and soul and love your neighbor as yourself … all the law and the prophets hang on these two commandments” (Matt 22:37–40). All the Law and all the prophets are summed up in these two commandments; thus, our lives, our holiness, can be summed up in those two commandments.

Loving God first in my life, means that in everything I am doing I love Him first. I see and hear this world through His eyes and His ears and with His heart. We have completely lost what that means as Christians. When we get home we will discover that we did not love His creation nearly as much as we should have.

The unholy life approaches all of these things with “me, myself, and I” at the center. Jesus was saying that God belongs at the center of whatever we are doing. We, as sinners, tend to put the thing itself — or ourselves — at the center.

George Orwell described the emptiness of self-centered, unholy living in a story he told in one of his essays. He described a wasp that was sucking jam from his plate. Orwell cut the wasp in half. The wasp just kept sucking the sweet jam from the plate as it poured out the other end from his severed esophagus. Like the wasp, unholy living sucks on God’s creation and never knows real satisfaction. Because there is no real “soul fulfillment,” the world’s enjoyment and passion will finally ebb.

In The Fall, Albert Camus pictured a lawyer who approached sex in this manner. It was strictly pleasure for the moment without the God-intended characteristics of love, life-long commitment, unselfishness, communication, and spiritual union. In the end, he abandoned sexual activity because of indifference and boredom; he had lost all passion for what he was doing. He saw himself as an empty wax facade.

Unholy living does not enjoy God’s creation too much — it falls far short of enjoying it enough. Holiness finds satisfaction and fulfillment in all of life. That “soul satisfaction” feeds and grows a passion for life. The holy life revolves around God in every place at every moment. It is a life of passion, fulfillment, meaning, and eternity.

From Ligonier Ministries and R.C. Sproul. © Tabletalk magazine. Website: www.ligonier.org/tabletalk. Email: tabletalk@ligonier.org. Toll free: 1-800-435-4343.

God's Will for Your Life: Follow Jesus, and Do Something

a snippet from Kevin DeYoung's book from last year, Just Do Something: A Liberating Approach to Finding God's Will. I think it pretty well sums up the entire book (though I would still recommend reading all of it).Simply put, God's will is your growth in Christlikeness. God promises to work all things together for our good that we might be conformed to the image of His Son (Romans 8:28-29). . . . God never assures us of health, success, or ease. But He promises us something even better: He promises to make us loving, pure, and humble like Christ. In short, God's will is that you and I get happy and holy in Jesus.So go marry someone, provided you're equally yoked and you actually like being with each other. Go get a job, provided it's not wicked. Go live somewhere in something with somebody or nobody. But put aside the passivity and the quest for complete fulfillment and the perfectionism and the preoccupation with the future, and for God's sake start making some decisions in your life. Don't wait for the liver-shiver. If you are seeking first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, you will be in God's will, so just go out and do something.

So, I read through the second half of Psalm 119 last night. I never realized how much he talks about Gods perfect laws/precepts/statutes and whatever other synonyms you can think of. Practically every other verse mentions something about it. It got me thinking about how I keep telling myself that I don't know where to start in my spiritual walk with God - but this Psalm made something clear to me. That I need to just simply seek after the heart of God and his laws and precepts. It's not really complicated at all (as my brain likes to make things occasionally). Studying and learning about what God commands of us is the first step to doing. If I don't make myself familiar with who God is and what he wans for our lives - how on earth am I going to even start living it out? That is why we are told to write it on our hearts.

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" I Have hidden your word in my heart so that I might not sin against you" - Psalm 119:11

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"If God's word is carved in our hearts, we will be more able to resist the assaults of Satan and therefore the prophet desires God to instruct him daily more and more in it" - Geneva Study bible

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"Hid- I have laid it up in my mind like a choice trasure, to be ready upon all occasions to counsel, quicken, or caution me." - John Wesley's Notes on the bible

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These pretty much sum up what I'm thinking. I didn't even mean for the verse to be from Psalm 119, nor wesley's comment to completely tie in my thoughts about even my previous blog (storing up treasures in heavan rather than here on earth) Slowly it all comes together.

A short exerpt from my life

I got two out of three pairs of shoes in yesterday, I love them both. The one pair of strap sandals I can’t really wear to work but they are pretty. The other ones and super nice. I have a taupe colored pair coming in this afternoon hopefully so I am interested in what they are going to look like. No more plain shoes for me. I have to make sure I don’t get too obsessed. I was talking to mom about shopping being a potential addiction. You get your temporary fix after buying a cute pair of shoes and a nice top. You feel better about yourself because your wardrobe is what completes you as a person. It is scary, because it only lasts for a little bit and then you feel the effects of guilt and dissatisfaction. That is why my closet is so full of things I don’t even really like. I convince myself that I need them at the time of purchase and that this is what I need to make my wardrobe complete. I can identify the problem. I convince myself that I don’t have enough clothes for work and that I have to keep up with the current trends. What qualifies as just enough and what then qualifies as excessive? I guess the fact that I have 20 pairs of pants is a little bit excessive, and the fact that I have probably about the same amount to t-shits, not to mention sweatshirts, jeans, sweaters and jackets. I also have about 12 or so dresses that I have worn once or not at all. I have only worn a handful of them more than once. There is always something missing from my closet. Now that I think back it seems as if ever since I started buying my own clothes that there has never been enough variety or enough of the stylish stuff that looks good on me. Instead of being thankful for what I do have and making use of what I do have I feel upset and not good enough to face the day. I should be finding satisfaction in the things that really matter in the end like family, friends and relationships rather than in what I look like and how much of a cool factor or a beautiful factor I have for that set period of time. Beauty fades, and clothing is temporary. I can’t take it with me and ultimately my treasure is where my heart lies. I don’t want my heart to be stuck here on earth.