Heart Full of Sky

Quite Possibly - I feel like I am sort of getting older. wow that was an interesting sentence. We all are getting older moment by moment... and what are we doing with ourselves?
. I was remembering back to a time when I made a website about parrots in grade seven. I then ventured to ponder the thought that high school years were definitely short lived. Thankfully but still short. It makes me sad, here I am yes I know I'm not yet 20 but I have been out of school for two years now and the past two years have flown by. Probably the most eventful years of my life. And without a doubt the two hardest years of my life so far. I want to rant and rave about them, explain them, share them, make sense of them. But that will take to long. I guess really I feel the need to explain them to myself. I am not mad about them, nor do I totally regret them. I mean I can't do anything about the past because it is already done.
It is actually quite freeing to think about the fact that there is nothing you can do about the past - like ya maybe it sucked, maybe it was difficult but what good does that do for today - and even tomorrow. Are we going to let yesterdays mistake become tomorrow's disaster?
. Don't get me wrong - I'm not saying to learn from past experiences... because they are indubitably valuable to making wise decisions here and now - but to dwell on things that can't be changed gets us absolutely no where - at least I speak for myself. I mean look at the bright side - there are endless possibilities... we just have to switch our train of thought onto the right track.
I feel like I don't even know where to start. My life definately feels like it can't possibly get more confusing. I'm sure there is worse situations than mine - and I don't want to sound self centered. But I think its just me that makes things confusing. I try and convince myself of things - when they don't really need convincing at all. It's beenhard - to say the least - to think for myself. Well, think for God more like. or no that doesnt sound right... Think about things in the same light that God would. although it is impossible to even fathom the knowledge of God.